Words About Words (Or Lack Thereof)

 Part of the job of pastoring is to be with people in the worst moments of their lives. You are invited to hospitals, crises, family conflict, funerals, and the general day to day of the difficult times.

It's a tremendous honor. 

It is a beautiful thing, though often can be an exhausting experience.

And no one experience is like another. No hospitalization is the same as any other hospitalization. Memorial services may have some overlap, but never do they repeat. It's always an experience wherein you need to go in knowing that you don't know what's going on. 

Or what to say.

And that can be scary. It can be intimidating to hear someone talk about their impending death and then they look to you like you're supposed to make sense of it all (which, to be fair, is an [impossible] part of the job). 

I've been reading A Wrinkle In Time for the first time in my life (shame on me). One of the characters, Mrs. Who, speaks largely in quotations, an affectation that initially bothers one of the protagonists:

'Mrs. Who, I wish you'd stop quoting!' Charles Wallace sounded very annoyed.

Mrs. Whatsit adjusted her stole. 'But she finds it so difficult to verbalize, Charles dear. It helps her if she can quote instead of working out words of her own.' 

Sometimes we need to realize that we don't have the words, and we won't be able to work out the words on our own. Scripture is valuable to quote in these moments, prayers from the saints of the church, words of encouragement from friends and family.

But truly the holiest moments are those when you don't even try to reach for a quote. It often feels that the less you say, the more present God is. While I'm awkwardly sifting through my brain for answers to the ultimate questions I'm forgetting that I'm not the one who should be answering those questions. I can share what I believe, I can affirm what they believe, I can nod sagely with the appearance of understanding, but I don't have the answers.

Less words, please.

It is ok to speak in those moments, and if you just walked in and sat there mute it would be a disaster, but the words come best when they come from the sacred voice that speaks without words.

Peace,

Jeff